When Writing Illuminates One Another | A Recap of MBL’s 8th Adoption Dialogue— When “Daughters of the Bamboo Grove” Meets “Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother”
At the 8th Adoption Dialogue hosted by Mothers’ Bridge of Love (MBL), we brought together two writers whose work has long engaged deeply with China — and with the complex realities of Chinese adoption. Barbara Demick and Xinran came together for a conversation that was gentle in tone, yet profound in depth.
Taking Daughters of the Bamboo Grove and Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother as points of departure, the dialogue moved well beyond the texts themselves. It opened onto questions of positionality in writing, ways of listening, and the layered realities that have long been overlooked in mainstream adoption narratives.
From “Reporting” to Being Changed
Barbara Demick reflected on her experience of writing Daughters of the Bamboo Grove, particularly the long-term relationships she developed with adoptees and their families. She spoke of how, as a journalist, her initial role was that of an observer and recorder. Yet through repeated listening, accompaniment, and return visits, she came to realise that these stories do not end once an interview is completed. They continue to shape the lives of those who tell them — and equally, those who listen.
She noted that public narratives around Chinese adoption are often overly simplified, while real lives tend to exist in spaces of ambiguity, contradiction, and incompleteness.
Writing Letters as Another Form of Response
Xinran began from Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother, sharing her experience of receiving countless letters from Chinese mothers over the years, and how her writing seeks to hold space for those who have been unable to speak publicly.
She pointed out that relationships among adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth families cannot be reduced to simple oppositions. Instead, they form a complex web woven from history, policy, emotion, and individual fate. Writing may not resolve everything, she suggested, but it can at least allow silences to be seen.
When Adoptees Become the Centre of the Conversation
This session was jointly moderated by Siwei, an adoptee raised in north-west China, and Adaline, a Chinese American adoptee living in Scotland. Together, they consistently brought the discussion back to a central question:
When we talk about Chinese adoption, do we truly leave space for adoptees to speak in their own voices?
During the Q&A, adoptees and adoptive families from different countries shared their uncertainties and reflections. The conversation was not always easy, but it remained grounded in respect and attentive listening—precisely why the Adoption Dialogue continues to matter.
Before Healing, Allowing Truth
MBL’s Adoption Dialogue series continues to focus on adoption healing as a core concern. This session reminded us once again that healing does not come from ready-made answers, but often begins with allowing complexity, acknowledging wounds, and accepting the coexistence of different lived experiences.
As one line repeatedly echoed throughout the forum:
Not every story needs to be fixed—but every story deserves to be listened to with care.
📌 The full recording of this dialogue is now available to watch. Click here to view the replay.
We warmly welcome adoptees, adoptive families, and all those who care about issues of Chinese adoption to continue listening, reflecting, and staying in dialogue.