Message From Adoptive Western Parents…

The following is from a very touching email received by MBL, for Xinran, from a mother in the US who adopted two Chinese girls, and has been trying to help them connect with their bith families and culture. We hope other readers will also be inspired to share their stories.

“Dear Xinran,

Having received your book in Friday’s mail and finished reading it last evening, I’m faced with an untidy house but a much better understanding of the wide range of life circumstances that might account for my two daughters’ adoptions from China.

Both girls are now 13 and 12 (this week) and for several years now I’ve been searching for any information about their birth families with their knowledge and permission. I’ve made several visits to their orphanage cities (Guixi, Jiangxi Province, and Lu’an City, Anhui Province) and plan on returning next year to continue the search in China.

I wanted to share with you a joy as well as ask for any thoughts you might have. My oldest daughter …from Guixi has been blessed with the discovery, followed by DNA testing last year, of two birth sisters here in the USA, both adopted by two other American families. All three families met…for the first time this past summer and the sisters, ages 13, 10, and 9, are within a one days drive of each other.

Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother has inspired me even more to try and locate the birth mother of these three daughters. I see her through them…healthy, solidly built with broad shoulders, tall, and strong. She works hard, probably in one of the many rural villages in the countryside surrounding Guixi, a small city by Chinese standards. I imagine that there is very likely a “jie jie” at home as well as by now the long desired and culturally necessary “di di”, younger than 8. Passing through many small towns and villages in October when I last searched putting up posters, I also imagined her reaction if she heard about the foreigner wanting to locate a woman who gave birth on three specific dates years ago. Having helped connect three sisters in the US who long to know of the rest of their “first family” in China, I’m determined to do all I can to remedy the heartbreaking loss and continual wondering that both they and their birth parents must live with. Someday, it is my dream that not only my daughters’ birth families will be found but all those others who, as adults or children, live with this heart breaking loss.

Sincere thanks for writing such a poignant and necessary work. May it open up the possibilities for connection on both sides of the ocean…and help in the healing of so many hearts.”

[Note: The contents have been edited to maintain privacy]