A message from an adoptive mother with a disabled Chinese boy


I just read Xinran’s last book about lost daughters of China. This book touched me deeply. I have been thinking with my husband how we could be able to send a message to our son’s birthparents and this book gives even more feeling to try harder.. We know something about how he was abandoned and clearly he was loved. If there was a way to let birthparents know this baby is loved so much and we have deep gratitute for them…

I’m an adoptive mother to a chinese boy. He has a special need. Xinran’s last book was mainly about girls, but I was wondering about boys. There was a mentioning that no one wants disabled boys. On the other hand being a member of the community who have waited very long to adopt a child with special need from China, I know there are also lot’s of people who don’t want the “healthy small chinese girl”, but a child with special need. On the CCWA’s adoption special need list there a lot of children waiting to be adopted. I also truly hope adoptive parents wouldn’t be so afraid of disabilities. After all anyone of us can get injured any time. And these children are children the same way that healthy children.

After you live and love a child the disability is just one part of the child- his/her soul and heart is a child’s heart. The child is not just one big disability- at least in countries that we don’t need the boys to be our support when we are old and we afford medical help.

I’d like to hear more about the true stories of these boys and their birth mother’s. I hope Xinran writes about them also some day. I do know some day my son will ask us hard questions (he is 2,5 years old). Questions about his chinese parents and the big “WHY”.

Thank you for your valuable work for all the mother’s and the children!

Sorry for my possibly poor english, I’m from Europe.


Best Regards,
E from Europe