A letter to my Chinese Mother - By Alice Haddlesey

A letter to my Chinese Mother – By Alice Haddlesey

By Alice Haddlesey

Dear Mum,

I know it’s alright for me to call you that because you will always be my mother and even though I’m halfway across the world – I still think of you every single day. I love you so much and I know that you must love me too because I am here, living a life of privilege and luxury – thanks to you. You have given me a new start and a new life in the West. You knew that I could be happy here and I just wanted to thank you for your sacrifice. If you could see me now, I think you’d be proud of me, even if you don’t recognize me. I know that I am proud of you, to have your qualities and good heart. I know that this life is full of ups and downs, surprises and heartbreaks – but I will never ever think of   you as anything but beautiful for allowing me to live mine in freedom and happiness. Of course I am sad when it is my birthday and I cannot hold your hand and thank you for bringing me into this world and I am sad when I bring my friends home and I cannot introduce them to you. I love my adopted parents so much; they have been angels to me and given me my own wings to make my way in this world. But I will never forget where I came from or that I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you. You are the wind that ruffles my hair, the stream that guides my path and the brightest star in the sky which shines for me and only for me. You are my mum and nothing will ever change that. I love you and I want you to know that everything is alright. Thanks to you, everything is alright. And one day, I will tell my children of their grandmother in China who is kind, selfless and brave and I shall tell them that even though you cannot see us, you are always in our hearts.  And that place in my heart that no riches or privilege could ever replace, is forever saved especially for you.

Always yours,

Alice (Yang Yerun)

 Alice's drawing2

(This was me as a baby, I drew this when I was about 11 for a school project)

  Alice's drawing1

(This is the painting of my birth mother. She is yellow, symbolising the sun because even though it is difficult to directly see it – it is always present in our lives. Just like she is with me, always present but never entirely with me.)





当然过生日的时候我会难过,因为不能握着你的手,感谢你把我带到这个世界上来,当朋友来家里,我也会难过,因为我不能把他们介绍给你。我很爱我的养父母;一直以来,他们就像我的天使,给我翅膀,让我步入这个世界。但是我永远不会忘记,我从哪里来,也不会忘记,倘若不是你,我也不会站在这里。你是撩拨我头发的微风,是为我指引道路的溪流,是天空最明亮的星辰,为我而闪烁,只为我闪烁。你是我的妈妈,这是什么也不能改变的。我爱你,我想要你知道,我一切都好。因为你,我一切都好。终有一天, 我会告诉我的孩子,他们在中国的祖母是一位善良、无私、勇敢的人,我还会说,虽然你看不到我们,但你永远在我们心里。你在我心里的位置是任何财富和特权都不能取代的,这个位置永远只为你而留。



Alice (Yang Yerun)


Translated by: GUO Dan Yang (郭丹阳)

Edited by: DingDing (丁文隽)